Weekend Wrapup

• Neither Notre Dame nor Michigan is really all that good. Seriously. I watched it. Was it good football game? No. It was a close football game. There’s a difference. Those two teams are pretty evenly matched and that has to be scary for alums of both. At some point early on, a stat flashed by showing that on average, ND’s O-line outweighed Michigan’s D-line by a large margin, at least 60 pounds. So if you’re Michigan, who seemed to start most plays directly in front of Jimmy Clausen, what do you take from this? You’re really that badass? Maybe so, but I didn’t see it. Tate Forcier; let’s see you in a year. That kid has some moxie. Still, pulling it down and taking off on a play early in the first half, it was clear that he’s still learning what he can and cannot get away with at the college level. He was caught from behind and dropped for a loss. Expect a whole lot more of that in conference play.

• What the sam hell is going on at Georgia? They’re supposed to be at the point where they don’t rebuild; they reload. As a Hog fan, I have no idea what to expect next weekend. Oklahoma State handled them. I mean, handled them, like a Hell’s Angel deals with a drunk frat boy. And the Cowboys lose to Houston? As someone who saw many a Southwest Conference game up close and personal, let me assure you, Houston’s football tradition is not rich. Andre Ware, David Klingler and… (if you want to see team love at its finest, check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Houston_Cougars_football; highlight: “Dissolution, Disappointment, Renovation - The Helton Era”) Oklahoma State was basically playing for the national title game. If they win out, which was by no means impossible given their talent, they’re the sacrificial lamb that Tebow has demanded. You can come to me with your letdown, “hard to get up for this game” hoosafudge, blah blah blah, your coach is a man! He’s 40! And by God, he cannot seem to put together a season in which he does not shit the bed at least once! This year it happened early! But I don’t give damn about Eskimo Joe’s; what does this say about the Dawgs? The Cocks scored 30 more points on Georgia than they did on NC State. Once again, as a resident of the Triangle, let me assure you, NC State is a miserable football team. Of course, Arkansas being Arkansas, we’re doomed next week. That could be when UGA puts all together, but they sure as shit haven’t so far.
• Lane Kiffin: Asshole, no. In fact, pussy. Wow. 4^th and goal from the 2. Hey, if we can’t make two yards on the ground, then we don’t deserve to win. Well sir, the football Gods agreed, because you got beat by a UCLA team that is not all that good at Neyland. These are the types of playcalls that drive me insane. Yes, if you put the ball in the air three things can happen and two of them are bad, but what a gutless call as a coach. Run it. It’s on ya’ll. No, I don’t really know of a play that would beat their defense from this spot, even though it’s two yards and any type of quick hitter has a better than 50% shot of working. And UT fans, the cupboard ain’t bare. I’ve bled Razorback Red since birth; trust me, I’ve seen teams without talent. Further, look to your own staff. Orgeron stockpiled talent at Ole Miss and lost like a son of a bitch. Talent will not make your coach grow some balls or a brain. What a spectacle, though. His dad is making that defense in to something unholy. It was almost like Kiffykins was happy to blow it by the goal line just to turn it over to Monte and Eric Berry to pull this thing out. For the train wreck enthusiasts out there, may I put in an early word for the Tennessee Volunteers, 2009 edition.

• Joy! And Pain! Sunshine! And Rain! Pain is watching Damian Williams trot out as a captain for USC and call the coin toss. Pain is watching the starting lineups scroll by and seeing, “WR- Damian Williams, Springdale, Arkansas”. Pain is hearing Kirk Herbstreit say that Williams was an afterthought when he transferred to USC along with Mitch Mustain. Joy? Joy is when you start explaining to your wife that Matt Barkley is a lot like Mitch Mustain was at Arkansas, a young quarterback making his way in the world. You then tell your wife, “and Mustain was undefeated as a college quarterback.” She pauses, takes a sip of wine, and questions Mustain’s sexuality. Joy personified.

• Bye week. My fellow Brothers of the Caine have a lot more to play for this year, being the trendy dark horse National Title contenders. For the Hawgs, the early bye was probably a good thing, giving us more time to prepare for the most important game of our season. If we win this one, off we go; a loss and we’re scrapping and clawing the rest of the way. The Rebels, though, they’ve got a long road to that Georgia Dome, and not exactly an ideal situation in regard to depth. The piper plays his song and we all dance to his tune, but that piper, he’s a real son of bitch, and so help me, he will get his due. The piper looks a lot like Omar Little. Come week 11, the training rooms in Oxford and Fayetteville may well ring with some crazy ass mofo whistling the “Farmer in the Dell”.